Posts Tagged With: kids

Writing with children

“Writing is the only way to talk without being interrupted.”
―Jules Renard

Lies Jules, all lies.

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I was partway through my MFA at Northwestern.  For some odd reason I never once worried about how I was going to keep writing when I became a mother.  Frankly I looked forward to it.  And for the first several months it was easy, because my husband was home working as a contract attorney and we switched off baby duty.  But then we moved and I started my thesis and everything started moving a lot slower.

I had idealized being a writing mom.  I thought it would look something like this:

american_express_tina_feycrop

Which in all fairness, is pretty much what it looks like (though I can only dream about being Tina Fey, which I do, often).  However, I never connected this picture with an actual inability to write.  Or more accurately, with a lack of time or attention for writing.  And if I thought it was difficult with one, I really learned my lesson when number two came along last spring.

This post, like almost all my posts, is coming out after the kids are finally in bed for the evening.  Usually after 9pm is safe, though there’s the occasional 10:30/11pm wake up.  This is the only uninterrupted writing time that exists in a house with young children.  I tried to write during nap time, but as I have previously discussed, babies and toddlers have a sixth sense about work attempting to be done nearby.  I think they grow out of this after five years when naps are replaced by kindergarten and the real work can officially resume.

This isn’t to say I get nothing done.  On the contrary, the majority of my writing has been completed after I became a mom.  But it hasn’t been easy.  The hardest thing is having to quit mid-stride because I’m needed elsewhere.  But that’s just life.  We can’t all be Salinger (who by the way, didn’t produce much once he went recluse).  Frankly, having to constantly divide my attention has made me a better writer.  I’m now able to turn off my writing brain at will* and actually go to sleep.  No more jumping up and down all night long to scrawl random thoughts on sticky-notes that make no sense in the morning.  Once the computer goes to sleep, so do I.  Work/life balance.  Because, lord knows someone will be awake and needing something from me exactly 30 minutes after I fall asleep.

I’ve been lucky with my son, though he’s only ten months old at the time of this writing, he is relatively independent.  I can sometimes write a couple paragraphs or do a little editing while he plays by himself.  My daughter would have none of that.  She was on me like a spider monkey 24/7.  But one day I blinked and now she’s in preschool.  Though I struggle to get more than an hour or two in every couple days right now, it will be all too soon when my second baby is walking out the door in the mornings, his lunchbox clutched in his soft, stubby hand.  And I’ll have a very empty house for a few hours with no one but my characters to keep me company.

So a lot of people ask me how I’m able to work with two small kids at home.  The answer is sometimes I’m not.  But I carve out little pockets of time and I have a supportive partner who believes in my writing and picks up the slack when I really need it.  And I break out the computer after 9pm.

________

*This is a boldface lie.

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One step above blank

“You can fix anything but a blank page.”
―Nora Roberts

I never used to outline.  Meaning the first screenplay and handful of short stories I wrote weren’t written from an outline.  My limited experience as a newbie write told me to just put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and go go go.  But as my writing grew, where I had previously been happy to meander lost along the highway and hope to happen upon my story, I realized I needed a map if I was going to get from Fade In to Fade Out.  To continue with this overused metaphor, sometimes I find a couple hand-scrawled directions will get me there, other times I need fully loaded satellite GPS.

Outlining is a personal choice but before you decry it, I suggest you try it (poetry baby).  Cause there’s no one way to do it.  Personally I have used synopses, index cards, excel sheets, post-it notes, treatments, and that chart thing from Dramatica.  I recommend trying all of them.  They all work for different kinds of projects.  My second script grew out of a eight page synopsis, my novel from an excel sheet of chapter breakdowns, my dramedy from index cards, a historical script from post-it notes, a sci-fi script written with my partner from a treatment, etc. etc.  It is especially important to outline when working with a partner, otherwise the left hand won’t know what the right hand is doing.

I wrote my first outline without even realizing it.  You see, my daughter was a co-sleeper.  She slept in our bed and napped in our bed.  The crib was a dangerous pit of hot lava to her.  But as long as I sat on the bed next to her, she would take two 2 hour naps per day.  At first I just ate cereal and watched a lot of television, then after I exhausted all the good shows and found myself tuning in to a marathon of “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding,” I wondered if maybe I shouldn’t be using this time to be productive.

Little known fact: the clicking of keyboard keys sets off an internal alarm clock in children under 5.

I couldn’t type on the laptop during naptime.  Inevitably, she would wake up less than a page into whatever I was working on.  Somehow, she could easily sleep through a boisterous round of Gypsy nuptials, but a few clackety key strokes and her little eyes would pop open and she would immediately start asking what was for lunch.  I had to figure something else out if I was to get any work done.

Before the advent of Final Draft Writer for iPad (Paleolithic, I know), I had to download My Writing Spot in order to be able to at least make notes when they occurred to me.  I could type using the on-screen keyboard without setting off the baby alarm.  Mostly I jotted down dialogue or worked on novel chapters.  Then one day I had an idea about a project I had been mulling over for years.  This is how most projects germinate for me.  I have a vague notion of something I would like to see or a character I think is interesting and then I chew on it for months and, yes, in some cases years, until a story emerges.  This day, by the light of morning television and the sound of a snoring infant, the idea for Etoile finally gelled.  I saw the entire story from start to finish and had to get it down before it was gone again and my attention turned back to mushed peas and tummy time.  Since I couldn’t just start writing it in Final Draft like I wanted to, I used my iPad to write a very short synopsis so I could get it out of my head.

Usually for me, my characters start to have conversations with each other before the whole plot reveals itself.  I only get snippets at a time and almost always I know the beginning and end and have no idea how to fill the black hole in the middle.  I just start writing and hope it’ll work itself out.  So that’s what I did.  I started writing from my short synopsis and immediately ran into problems.  I went back and fleshed out the synopsis into a real outline, adding plot points and characters.  When I headed back into the screenwriting software the script came very quickly.  And it wasn’t half bad.  I needed to cut about 15 pages as  I tend to write long anyway, and the great problem with following the outline was that I didn’t plan the length of scenes very well.  What looked short on the outline was very long in the script.  I sat on it and revised it for several months.  Finally I chucked it up on the Black List where it made the monthly Top Lists.  I was over the moon!  However, being a period film about ballerinas in the Paris Opera, it didn’t get a lot of downloads.  No biggie.

Currently, I’m revising it to put in a major competition and know it could stand to have at least ten more pages trimmed.  How long is this monster of a script, you ask?  Originally 132.  Then 128.  Now 124.  It really should be 115.  And that is only because it’s a period piece.  Page length will be a future post because there are interesting things going on with this subject lately.

I knew there were a couple scenes I could cut but it wasn’t tightening up the way I wanted so I enlisted outside help from my sometime writing partner.  He pointed out some issues that were totally on the money and I opened it back up thinking I was going to fix everything.  But I had no idea how to start rearranging the entire plot to accommodate the fixes.  Here’s the problem with outlining: you become so married to the outline that it becomes impossible to deviate.  Changing a scene here or there, tweaking a character, adding and subtracting dialogue — that’s all fine.  But majorly changing the bones of a script?  That’s real revision.  If I figure out how to do it, I’ll let you know.

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Woolf at the door

“Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money.”
― Virginia Woolf

Today was tough.  I had an interview with a perfectly nice company for a copywriter job.  I was fairly excited about the prospect, mostly of making some money after being off the regular job market for three years, but on the way home I was depressed.  Majorly, pathetically, depressed.  I worried that I was going to stick myself into another job I didn’t really want and all chance of writing creatively for a living would go flying out the high-rise window.  I also worried about not seeing my kids all day long as I had had the luxury of doing ever since the first one was born.  It wouldn’t be the end of the world, but I felt that pressure in my chest I get whenever I realize that I haven’t written in over a week and that dreams aren’t built on twenty minutes twice a month.

Then I made dinner and forgot about it.

But as I sat down to watch “Face Off” on the Syfy channel after the kids were asleep, as I normally do at the end of the day, my laptop decided to challenge me to a highly judgmental staring contest.  I decided to work on a project I had been meaning to find the time for all week, then instead I did this.

Starting out in screenwriting is like this.  One minute you have three offer for options, and the next minute they’ve all disappeared.  One minute you’re telling all your friends your script is in development, then two years later they ask what happened, and you have to shrug, mumble “development hell,” and pretend you’re okay with it.  One minute you’re flying high, the next you have to start from scratch.

Now I know most of you are getting worried right about now, because on the face of it, I might seem marginally successful.  But to put it in perspective, one of my friends who has sold two scripts to major studios was only recently able to quit his day job and that was only because he was able to get two more work-for-hire jobs.  And he would be the first to admit he might need to go back to answering telephones if his phone doesn’t continue to ring.

That didn’t make you feel better, did it?  Never fear, perseverance is the name of this game.  You (and I) might have to take that random office job while waiting for your first six-figure sale, but at least we’ll be in good company.

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